Jun 19, 2025 — Dr. Marlene Bizub: Divorce Coaching

Bulletin for June 19, 2025

Featured Speaker: Dr. Marlene Bizub

Divorce Coaching and Parenting Coordination — Alternatives to the Adversarial Court System

OPENING

Benny led the prayer and Jeff led the Pledge of Allegiance. Jeff introduced his stepdaughter Taryn, a senior at CU Boulder and Zamboni driver for the CU rink.

"There are two types of people in this world: people who get things done and people who take credit for getting things done. And there are many fewer people in the first category."

— Frank Curry, U.S. Army WWII Medal Recipient

CLUB BUSINESS

• Rodeo Tickets: 23 tickets purchased with group discount. Members suggested writing a $55 check directly to Bob.

• Board Meeting: Upcoming in July; club party next Saturday hosted by Paula (potluck, sign-up circulating).

• Christmas Party: Peel House discussed; members preferred Patty Jewett's venue.

• Community Recognition: On June 17th, Larry received a noteworthy award from the Pikes Peak Community Foundation at the Garden of the Gods Club.

KEYNOTE: DR. MARLENE BIZUB — DIVORCE COACHING & PARENTING COORDINATION

Dr. Bizub holds a master's in counseling and gerontology from Wichita State University and a doctorate in forensic psychology from Eisner Institute for Professional Studies. She has 30+ years of experience, a published book, and a podcast. Her focus: protecting children by improving how families navigate divorce.

The Problem with the Adversarial System

Marlene shared an anecdote about a mediation session where a fully negotiated agreement between parents was contradicted by one party's attorney — leading to unnecessary court hearings, increased financial burdens, and more stress for the children. The adversarial system's incentives often work against families.

Divorce Coaching

Certified divorce coaching is an alternative to traditional legal representation that helps clients navigate separation with clarity, calm, and confidence. It is not guided by statute and does not require court appointment. Despite its potential benefits, many clients insist on retaining attorneys, leaving coaching underutilized.

Parenting Coordinator Decision Maker (PCDM)

The PCDM role is defined in statute and requires a judge's appointment for two-year terms. Marlene prefers this role for its long-term, constructive engagement. When an agreement can't be reached, she makes a decision that becomes an immediate court order within one week (subject to review after 3–4 months). She always meets with children directly, regardless of parental objections.

The Power of Specificity in Custody Orders

Vague custody orders lead to disputes. Details matter: precise holiday exchange times, management of children's belongings, financial arrangements for daycare, tax returns, and health insurance. Marlene teaches a Level 2 co-parenting class for the courts.

Insights on Divorce Causes

External affairs are rarely the primary cause of divorce. More often the culprits are incompatibility of values, poor mate selection, and financial disputes. Drug and alcohol issues frequently underlie the central conflicts.

"An ounce of mediation is worth a pound of arbitration and a ton of litigation!"

— Joseph Grynbaum

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